Despite the fact that I take care of all aspects of our household budget, I assumed that DH also knew about the important aspects of our finances. I was wrong.

We recently decided to make a few changes to our home loan. As it is a joint account, both DH and I had to answer a few questions for identification purposes. Questions like: What financial products do you have with us? Have you recently made any transfers to your account? As DH doesn’t handle our finances he couldn’t answer the questions, failed the identification test and we were not allowed to make changes to our loan as a result. While I’m glad that the bank doesn’t let any old person have access to our banking details, it was also very annoying.

It made me realise that if, heaven forbid, something happened to me, DH wouldn’t be able to access our savings, would have trouble making changes to our mortgage and wouldn’t know where our financial and other personal information is filed.

It was exactly this type of situation my mother found herself in when my father passed away a couple of months ago. My father had a habit of hiding important and valuable things when they travelled, in case the house got broken into. It took mum weeks to find the things that dad had hidden.

There are a few things that you can do to keep your partner in the loop and ensure that should anything happen to you, your other half will be able to take over the household finances with minimal difficulty.

• Take time to discuss your finances on a regular basis. Things like upcoming expenses, financial goals and financial health.
• Organise your financial documents and information well. Have a place for important papers and ensure that everyone knows where they are filed. Clearly mark them so that they are easy to search through if necessary. I know that it may be a security concern, but have a safe place for bank account details so that everyone knows how to access the household accounts if necessary.
• Inform your other half. I’m not suggesting that you prepare an entire PowerPoint presentation for your spouse (although you could if you wanted to) but if you’re the one tracking the bills, watching the debts and the savings accounts and keeping a budget, it’s a good idea to sit with your spouse and go through some key points on a regular basis.

One person taking on the financial responsibility in a marriage can ensure bills don’t get forgotten or double paid and the household finances run smoothly. If you do have sole responsibility of the household budget, ensure that your spouse is kept in the loop so that they are able to help make financial decisions and if something should happen to you, they don’t find themselves at sea with the household finances.

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Have you read these articles?:

1. Evaluating Your Financial Position
2. Surviving A Financial Crisis
3. Review: Quicken Personal 2009 – Personal Financial Software

It got me thinking about how we find partners who are financially compatible (did I mention he was also tall, dark and …) Of course, there are many values that should be considered when finding a life long partner, but with money cited as being the number one reason for divorce, should we be looking for a frugal partner right from the first date?

I never thought about financial compatibility when dating DH. In fact, if you had asked me what I was looking for in a fella, non-smoker would probably have been the only thing on my list. It just happened that we’re pretty much on the same page when it comes to money. Actually, he’s probably more frugal than I am. And our differences often provide a balance that would have otherwise been lacking.

So, it’s probably not cool to interrogate a person about their finances and money values on the first date. But if you’re engaged and ready to march down the aisle, it’s a good idea to discuss your ideas on money before the cake is eaten.

When it comes to dating, I can only think of two things that you should do to find that compatible someone. These tips are relevant for other values besides finances so maybe they’re just ‘common sense’.

1. Take notice of the person that you’re dating

Spending time with a person in different circumstances and taking note of how they act (and react), their likes and dislikes, what they say and what they spend their money on can give you a pretty good indication of what kind of person they are and if their values are a match with yours.

The first holiday DH and I had was a driving/camping trip up the east coast of Australia. If I had said I want to go to lie around some beach resort, or if he had said I want to go skiing in Canada, maybe things would have turned out different. As it was, our idea of a great holiday was the same and it happened to reflect our money values (and budget) also.

2. Don’t pretend to be someone you’re not

We all want to impress our dates. But pretending to be someone that you’re not isn’t the key to a life long partnership. It’s tiring and depressing, and you end up cheating yourself. If your idea of the perfect date is fish and chips on the beach, don’t go to a fancy restaurant just because it’s the ‘done’ thing. Stay true to who you are. If your date thinks that anything less than diamonds is stingy, then it’s probably not meant to be. I’m not saying never go out somewhere pricey, just be yourself. And if dating is eating into your financial goals, mention that, and suggest a more frugal alternative. Communicating honestly is what a good relationship is all about.

Do you think finances are an important consideration when dating? How would you tell if you’re financially compatible?

Have you read these articles?:

1. Link love
2. why being lazy can save you money…
3. Australian Online resources for money management